- Deborah King.
PRISON, CORONAVIRUS, AND HOPE
The Coronavirus and the world’s reaction to its real risks, and its imagined risks is upending the lives and plans of many, creating fear, anxiety, and often, hopelessness.
Apart from the death of my wife Sharon, no event in my life transformed me quite like prison. Everything I thought I was, everything I believed I had accomplished, was transformed in an instant the moment I said, “your honor, I am guilty.” Little did I know then how much hope God had in store for me the moment I walked through the prison doors of Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary.
So, I’ve decided to share those many moments of hope I experienced in the six months I was there in posts here, Facebook, and elsewhere, in the belief that my experiences with the GOD OF HOPE will encourage, strengthen, and provide hope to any who read them.
WORSHIP IN THE FACE OF HOPELESSNESS
Every day I walked around a ½ mile track for miles at a time that surrounded the exercise field of the minimum-security prison at Leavenworth. Alone, at first without friends, and living within an environment that I never imagined I would experience, walking that track allowed me to find solitude. With solitude came an opportunity to choose something profound: The Lord or Hopelessness. Hopelessness was everywhere. It permeated the prison dormitories, the cafeteria, the exercise room, even the gym. It was palpable. But it was NEVER acknowledged. Acknowledging hopelessness was to acknowledge weakness, fear, uncertainty, and a host of related emotions that are just not acceptable in prison.
As I walked, I realized I could choose what I thought about, who I thought about, and what I believed about myself, about my situation, and mostly about my God. I began to do the one thing that has always brought me hope in the worst moments of my life. I worshipped him. For me worship has always involved singing praises to Him, so alone on that track, walking around and around, I began to sing praises to Him. Quietly, very quietly at first as I approached other walkers or those standing around the track, I worshipped, singing every worship song that had been embedded in my soul over so many years. As I sang songs to Him, he would sing to me. He would bring His presence in my song and I would often weep quietly as I realized He was reaching out to me as I praised Him. We did this together every day.
THE BIRDS OF A LOVING GOD
After a month, or maybe two, I began to notice over time that a flock of small birds would fly from post to post along the prison barbed wire fence not far from the track where I was walking. Darting in and out of the prison yard I noticed that they would often fly unusually close to me and sometimes to fly in a circle around me before darting back to the posts of the barbed wire fence. At first I thought it was unusual, weird even. Nevertheless, I just continued to worship in solitude. And then something really unusual happened.
There was a small bird, smaller than the rest, blue, black in color with wings that reflected the brightness of the sun when it shown on him/her. I had begun to sing with more abandon by this time. The other prisoners on the yard would actually encourage me to worship if I walked by them and wasn’t singing. So..I worshipped with more and more abandon. For no reason other than the more intensely I worshipped the more His presence seemed to envelope me. And I needed His presence more than I needed water. And then I noticed after a few weeks, this little bird was flying around me, leading the rest of the flock with greater and greater velocity the more intensely I worshipped.
This went on for the entire summer. Everyday this pack of birds, with this one little blue/black bird leading them, flew around me, darting back and forth from the barbed wire fence to a circle around me, as I worshipped. Sometimes they found me right away. Sometimes, after a couple of miles, but for the rest of the summer they showed up every time I came to worship on that track.
God’s little birds are everywhere in your life. Look for them in the midst of your suffering, your uncertainty, your fear. You will find them as you worship, however you do that. God knows when you are worshipping and He will be there to remind you that He knows you are. His presence will find you, envelope you, comfort you, strengthen you and encourage you.
Let God’s little birds find you in this time of uncertainty. There is nothing like the presence of God to give you HOPE.